Oct 252012

A:  I saw an infomercial last night about a new ab device.  They said you can get a great six pack after a month of using their product for only 3 minutes a day.  If you aren’t completely satisfied with the product, you can send it back for a full refund.  What do you think?

B:  Do you want my honest opinion?

A:  Ya

B:  I think you’re retarded!

A:  How do you know it won’t work?  You’ve never tried it.

B:  Because in order to get a six-pack, you need to have a low body fat percentage.  This takes a lot more effort than 3 minutes a day of exercise.  A good diet also plays a huge role.

A:  If they don’t believe in their product, why would they offer a money back guarentee?

B:  Because they know from experience that most people will be too lazy to actually send the product back, even if they don’t like it.  By offering a money back guarantee, they know that gullible people like you will be more likely to buy the product in the first place.

Phrases and Vocabulary used:

Infomercial:  A long television commercial that teaches people how to use a certain product and tries to sell it.  Often these are a half hour to an hour in length, and you can call the phone number on the TV to order the product directly to your house.

Ab device:  Abs is a short form for “abdominal muscles” These are the muscles that are in your stomach.  An “ab device” is a piece of exercise equipment designed to train your abs.

Six-pack:  This is a slang term to describe well-defined abs.  Many professional athletes have a six-pack.

Retarded:  Literally this refers to people who are mentally handicapped, ie. They were born with a mental problem.  Sometimes we use this word as a slang term to describe someone who is an idiot.  Friends often joke with each other using this word.  It is important to understand that this term can be considered very offensive to some people and you should think twice before using it.
Some common slang sentences are:  “Don’t be such a retard”.  “Don’t listen to him.  He’s retarded”.

Plays a huge role:  This phrase means, “is a very important part of”.
Many child psychologists believe that teachers play a huge role in the healthy development of young children.

Gullible:  Someone who believes things too easily or is tricked easily is considered to be “gullible”.
People who believe everything they read are gullible.
I can’t believe you were gullible enough to buy that stupid thing.  It should have been obvious that it wouldn’t work.


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